ZoomerRuleset Retcon
Solution
From the given grid and narration, we should recognize that this puzzle represents a game of Scrabble played between two players. However, the participants’ word choice and flavortext, specifically “ruleset Chonky Sploot Words 24,” clues a unique twist on the game. By searching the first letters (CSW24) with Scrabble, we can find the 2024 lexicon update released by Collins Scrabble Words here, which notably includes both “chonky” and “sploot”. It stands to reason that all of the words played in this game are included in this word list.
From the descriptions and the point values, we can deduce both the word as well as its unique placement on the Scrabble board. For example, the first clue “i intentionally threw” references “INTED”, which means deliberately lost. Because the first word always scores double points, we are looking for a placement that scores 8 points. As D is the only letter to give 2 points, we can deduce the only possible placement is to put the D on the double letter tile, which means that I must start on the center tile.
Using similar deductions, we can play out the entire game:
| Order | # Player | Clue | Points | Rack | Word | Definition & Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1 | since this is your first time playing with the new rules, i intentionally threw to give you a head start for 16 points. | 16 | DEIKNTW | INTED | (in online gaming) to deliberately lose or give an advantage to an opponent |
| 2 | 2 | you definitely did with that word. i'm playing a total stranger for 9 points. | 9 | ADEIOOR | RANDO | a random person |
| 3 | 1 | who the ohio? you can't even play wordery any more, because of this. sheeple better get up and gimme my 26 points | 26 | EKLOOWY | WOKERY | an extreme and ostentatious concern with social and political unfairness (punned as “wok”-ery by player 2) |
| 4 | 2 | is that like a skill a chinese chef has? speaking of sheep - no cap, i just saw the cutest doggo with more voluminous fur than you. 66 point bingo lmao | 66 | EFFILOR | FLOOFIER | exceptionally more hairy or furry |
| 5 | 1 | i'm taking a break to make lunch. trying out a West African rice dish, 16 points. a shame i had to waste my blank on a double letter :( | 16 | ALLNOO_ | JOLLOF | West African rice dish |
| 6 | 2 | speaking of food - let me cook. i'm hankering for a hanger steak. 11 points. | 11 | CEGLNNT | ONGLET | a cut of beef below the diaphragm |
| 7 | 1 | and i'm hankering for some 26-point nsfw animation, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 26 | AAHINT_ | HENTAI | a sexually explicit anime or manga |
| 8 | 2 | i can't believe you just tainted our game with that word. that play was so embarrassing, big yikes, but i got 30 points which is epic. | 30 | CGINOOR | CRINGE | adj. causing acute embarrassment |
| 9 | 1 | and that's not all, i'm about to rizz a lovely 2D lady with 14 points. i think she was in my last play too. | 14 | AAEUMW_ | WAIFU | a fictional character (esp. from an anime cartoon) whom a person regards as a romantic partner |
| 10 | 2 | what's this? i guess i gotta dump some vowels lol. here's a kawaii 6 points | 6 | BJOOUVZ | OWO | an interjection expressing surprise used in text messaging and social media |
| 11 | 1 | make all the faces you want, but 6 points? that's a skill issue. tell me i'm not wrong for 22 points. | 22 | ADEIIMR | AMIRITE | (slang) alternate spelling of “am I right?” |
| 12 | 2 | i see u out here pretendin ur rich and high-class. 31 points | 31 | BEEJUVZ | BOUJEE | alternate spelling of “bourgeois”: marked by a concern for wealth, possessions, and respectability |
| 13 | 1 | 🚨alternate spelling detected lmao🚨 trynna get rid of your bonus vowels i see. anyway, just scored 65 points and clocked in a new PB for my fastest bingo. gg | 65 | DEENPSU | SPEEDRUN | to attempt to complete (an activity, esp. the playing of a video game) in the shortest possible time |
The placements of the tiles can be found in the Appendix.
The final clue references “triple letters”, which suggests we should look at all the letters on the board that scored triple letter points. By reading left-to-right, top-to-bottom (or top-to-bottom, left-to-right if the first move was vertical), the triple letters spell out our answer, ENJOYMENT.
Appendix: Scrabble boards
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| The first word in Scrabble always scores double word. To get 8 points pre-doubling, the D must land on the double letter tile. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||